Well, i know how much you all het drama, but this entry is for my sake and not yours... so you DON'T have to read it if you dont, what follows this will be a serious of complaints, and a lot of whining... mmk... im writing this in hopes of being able to come to peace with myself, and with that being a better friend.
First, i feel like shit, im tired but cant sleep, im grumpy, and i hate my job.
Second, ive come to realize that im not who ive been making myself out to be, i am a sucky boyfriend, i have so much that many people dont have yet i dont appreciate it, im ungrateful, and i take it for granted... and all of those are pretty much the same thing so i dont know why i wasted my time typing them...
Third, i say and do things before i fully think them out and it always leads me to trouble.
Fourth, i flirt to much, bitch to much, and compliment to little.
Fifth, im getting sick of trying to please everyone else, when really i want to be myself, and just sit down and enjoy everything that im blessed with
Sixth, well this really isnt a personal fault but, i dont want anyone thinking that these feelings are because of them, these stresses are only present because of my thoughts, and actions. I love you all, and you have done nothing but brought joy, and comfort.
Seventh, i must learn that no matter how much i dont want to be responsible i must because everyone else is doing so and i should not be an exception.
Eighth, I must learn to respect my parents more and not be such an ass, they are looking out for me, not trying to ruin my life.
Ninth, i hate typing so this damn list is over.
Once again im sorry for the drama, and again no one is at fault for any of this but me. Thank you for your time, if your reading this i know you care and i love you for that... see im starting to feel better already, hopefully i'll be in a better mood tomorrow, and..... i cant think of anything else, thank you for caring, i love you more than you know and g'nite. Russ